Papaya Mom

There was NOTHING on TV; Papaya clung to me like a barnacle all day long. I cherished having her cuddly again, but sitting there I ended up watching crap TV. I watched CMT. Please still be my friend, I have no intention of saying ‘yall’ too often.

I watched a show called American Soldier that I expected, as a Quaker, to be bothered by. It was about a Georgia National Guard Unit deploying to Iraq, and the lives of their families at home. I felt so sappy watching the goodbyes, strange watching the guys in Kuwait talking about how they were dealing with the possibility of accidentally killing a woman or child. They were discussing how afraid they were and how they are trained about IEDs being in dead bodies on the side of the road. EW. It reminds me how much I despise war, no matter if what someone is fighting for is right or wrong.

I would rather be killed than fight myself, yet I married a guy in the military. I am torn over it quite often; I love him but hate the “purpose” of his job. I am often embarrassed that I am afraid for him to leave the military (job security, etc.) when my morals tell me to have him leave the job.

Okay, Papaya was born on January 20, the day of Bush’s inauguration. I could not bring myself to write this in her baby book under “what was the big news story of the day?” Okay, now I’m rambling.

So, I cried watching the guys deploy but don’t know what I want to do about it. What kind of an activist am I? Am I an activist anymore?

Popularity: 14% [?]

TEN TOY CHOOSING TIPS
from Dr. Sears (https://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/T151600.asp)

In selecting the right toy for your child ask yourselves:

1. What will it teach my child?
2. Will it hold my child’s attention?
3. Is it safe?
4. Is it annoying for me to see or hear?
5. Does it promote creativity, social interaction?
6. Is it non-combative, non-aggressive?
7. Does it foster hand-eye coordination and problem-solving skills?
8. Can it be enjoyed by both genders?
9. How many senses does it stimulate?
10. Will I enjoy playing with this toy?

So many toys, so little time. Play is children’s work, and toys are their tools. From a baby’s first attempts to grab a rattle to a teen’s mastery of the intricacies of a computer game, children learn reasoning, concentration, and motor, social, and language skills from toys. Toys can enhance curiosity and teach a child to make wise choices.

The best toys are the ones that stimulate many senses and that give a child the opportunity to make things happen. Babies take a swipe at the ball placed on the floor in front of them and discover that not only does it roll away, it makes music! They’re motivated to stretch and reach and make it happen again. Blocks piled one on top of each other makes a tower toddlers can be proud of. They also enjoy the fun of knocking it down and starting over again. Toys that promote creativity in play will be enjoyed for many years to come.

When selecting toys for a child, think carefully about the toy and the child. Choose toys that are developmentally appropriate, that build on skills the child already has and provide a few challenges. What does your child enjoy playing right now? Give her the tools—the toys—that will help her do it better.

Choose toys that can be shared with friends as well as enjoyed alone. Give toys that you will enjoy playing with, and then take time to play with your child. You’ll learn more about how your child thinks and feels by getting on the floor and playing with her. These memories will last a lifetime. Remember, you are the best “toy” your child could ever have.

Popularity: 13% [?]

I got a new carrier today, and Papaya loves it too! It is a Mei Tai style carrier by the BEST maker, it’s a Kozy Karrier with a pocket and I LOVE IT….

I can’t wait to go out with Papaya again tomorrow for a chance to wear her in it, I only wish I had this one as a newborn. It is so much more comfortable than the Baby Bijorn and can be used for side and back carriers as well as front carries.

Here is the site:
http://www.kozycarrier.homestead.com/
Where you can buy one of your own in one of the amazing fabric choices. I certainly suggest the pocket, I used mine today for wallet, cell phone and keys and Papaya did not mind at all. We got the Charlotte with Natural Straps, in case you wanted to know. If only I could afford to buy one for every friend having a baby, I’d be so happy.

Popularity: 13% [?]

Madonna says the low is “knowing you were not there for your kid that day, you suck as a parent.” As much as Madge annoys me with the whole “you are all going to hell” think, referring of course to her very spiritual life as a old Talmud studying Jewish Man. Yet, when I saw her say that on my current news source, E! Entertainment, I was feeling so/so about it.
I am with Papaya all day, aside from the 90 minutes in the morning when she is in childcare in the gym. As I write, she’s playing with Adventure Dad in the other room, yet I can hear it when she whines. I feel it in my bones. At five p.m. when the sky outside is dark (the sun sets EARLY in the winter here in Seattle) and I am so ready for him to be home. I need a break, some alone time to type or read or do something for me. Of course this is the time when Papaya gets clingy, it is the end of her day too and she wants to be close to the one she loves the most, me.
There has got to be a way to get through this; some days I sit on the living room floor with her and stack wooden blocks and some days I take her for a walk wrapped in one of my Didys. Now that it is dark, the walks are out, it’s COLD out there!
So I need to learn to be a better early evening parent, get my second wind. I think I’m going to make a soundtrack for play and start it at 5:15 p.m. every night when I feel exhausted. Okay, so any suggestions for fun songs?

Popularity: 14% [?]

I’m having a fat day. Adventure Dad let me sleep in after a so/so night with Papaya and when I woke up he had made waffles with strawberries and whipped cream for me. It was nice, so I ate it. I hate when I eat, I wish I could avoid eating things but I live for food. So I’ve been working out. Almost two months now. I’m stalled at 177 pounds. My middle is nasty, it squishes out over the top of my jeans. Did I mention he made maple sausage too?

I just want to scream. We always say we are going to help each other eat better and work out more often. I go to the grocery yesterday and get food, good healthy food, and he ignores it. Off to Central Market for “Extra Creamy” cool whip for my waffles? I have no self control, so why does he tempt me? I work so hard not to tempt him or myself; I make him breakfast roll ups with low fat deli ham and sliced lowfat swiss on whole wheat tortillas with egg beaters and he makes me waffles? And why make three of them? I only need one, if that!

Its not his fault, but I don’t know if I could stand to be any more angry at myself for being so fat. Julie and I hired a personal trainer for Fridays for the next eight weeks, I sure hope he does something that kicks me into gear. I’ve got to loose weight or I’m going to die of embarassment at this body.

Oh, and please no “we love you anyway” comments because sweet support right now would take my current anger over the edge. I tried on six pairs of jeans at Old Navy, NONE of them fit. I am apparentl NOT a size 14 and I refuse to buy a 16. It is already embarassing enought to be in a 14, a “plus size.” I own one pair of jeans that fit, that’s what I’ve got. I refuse to buy anything larger so I’ll just have to loose weight and get smaller.

Off to clean my house that is over due for it….

Popularity: 18% [?]