I’m depressed. It’s not that Adventure Dad is gone, or that Papaya is teething, that Papaya pooped in her bath twice tonight before I gave up, or that I’m moving us alone. It’s that I’m BiPolar and all of the above things together are putting me over the edge. I’m having a hard time cleaning my house, a sign for me that things are amiss. Luckily it does not seem to impact my care of Papaya, thank GOD, and she is as happy and healthy as a girl who is growing molars can be.
I’m trying to focus on the future, as in April, when we will be settling into a new house. A new start, a place I can decorate and live in and be the me I want to be. I want to be a wife who keeps a clean home, has dinner on the table, and takes nights off to date my husband. I want to dress nicely; matching panties and underwear and clothing that could be business casual but a teensy bit more casual. I want to wear flattering pants and sweater sets. I want to wear nice shoes, but not heels. I want to do my laundry on a regular basis so I don’t end up doing it all on Saturday. I want to wash my face, do my hair and wear a bit of makeup daily. I want to work out and be a bit thinner, but more importantly, feel stronger. I want to work on my Wyatt hips/thighs and make them leaner.
So, these are my goals. I feel excited writing them and know that I just have to get through a few weeks of stress to start on them. It is doable, and I’m seeing my therapist this week to make sure that this depression does not overcome me. I deserve better and so does Papaya.
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Welcome.
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It sounds like a real combination of things right now. I mean, I’d be having a hard time with just being by myself, taking care of a child by myself (even if they were acting perfectly) AND moving by myself. Forget anything else in the mix!
… matching panties and underwear…
A woman with priorities after my own heart